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You Won’t Settle for Vice President after Reading This

25 job titles that you’ll probably never have

Bride Kidnapping Expert

Pork Rind Expert

Beardsman

Knitter-in-Residence

Parkour Specialist

Penguinologist

Head of Elephants

Extreme Unicyclist

MILF Commander

Cool Kid

Science Viking

Head of Potatoes

Suspicious Fisherman

Head Receiver

Bear Biologist AND Paperfolder

Space lawyer

CEO of Science

Ranch Dressing Expert

VP of Infinite Infinity

Namer of Clouds

Professional Snuggler

Hairapist

Director of Sandbags

Lube Manager

And just in case you still thought you have the best job title…

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